There are so many thoughts that come to mind with the word remission. For a moment in time, it means free and clear of cancer. Many never know how long that moment will last. Working as an oncology pharmacist, I hear patients daily talk about their remission status. For some, it’s a lifetime and others only temporary. I will say the thought of “how long” does take place for patients and their loved ones.
It is easy to allow fear to set in as our thoughts can take off like a wild fire becoming out of control which leads to anxiety and depression. Fear of the unknown is one thing that grips many people today. I have personally learned to take these thoughts captive and tell myself “Jesus died for this disease too.” Is it always easy? No!
On February 24, 2023, I was declared in remission of CLL by my oncologist. She then went through a few pros/cons which were contingent on a more sensitive blood test that she ordered that day. She explained that if the current lab work results showed no detectable cancer cells that she would expect me to remain in remission longer than if a few were noted. At that moment, I had to stand firm with myself that no matter what, I was going to believe that I am healed. All of my blood work over the past 6 months as well as my most recent CT scan showed evidence of that. My blood work did come back as no abnormal B cells identified which gave me even more proof that I am healed.
I finished my last dose of Venclexta, the oral chemo I took for 11-28 day cycles, on March 23, 2023. The feeling of being finished was almost surreal. For almost a year, I had some type of treatment and not having to take 4 tablets before bedtime felt like I was having to break a habit. About 2 weeks later, I started to realize that I was not as tired as I had been over the last year. Also, my digestion was starting to get back on a normal course. Currently, I have been off my medication for 4 weeks and have noticed that I do not require the longer hours of sleep (9-10 hours) each night to feel rested and have not become tired as easily during normal daily activities.
Thinking back over a year, I sure did sleep a lot and lived most of my life feeling tired all the time. After going through an IV and oral therapy, I have a new perspective on how chemo patients feel on a regular basis. Many endure medications with difficult side effects but still do their best to keep up with life the best they can. There were many days along the way that I just wanted to fall asleep but knew I had to work or attend a planned event. Ultimately, I was just doing my best to attempt a somewhat “normal” life.
From here, I am setting out to live life to the fullest while helping others on their journey. I have already heard many stories of others who are battling a cancer or chronic disease which is difficult to navigate. I get the honor of praying with and for them as well as following their journey with encouragement along the way. Also, I am believing for a cure for many of these diseases which takes prayer, money, and research. I know my God is bigger than these disease and makes all things work for good for those who believe in Him.
“And we know (with great confidence) that God ( who is deeply concerned about us) causes all things to work together (as a plan) for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to His plan and purpose.” Romans 8:28
Inspiration. Hope. Thank you!