Mental Battle-Part 2

Another feeling that has been difficult for me is frustration.  I have the personality of a “doer” and suddenly once my treatment started, I was tired all the time and required lots of sleep.  This was not normal for me.  Suddenly, I had to depend on my husband and others a lot for help just to get through the days and weeks after my treatments.  Everyone was so kind to help without complaint.  Inside of me was a battle where I desired to do regular tasks at home and even go for a walk/jog but just didn’t have the energy.  If I did, I would be tired  3-4 hours later in the day as well as most of the following day.  

I was having to plan for 9-10 hours of sleep a night because suddenly 7-8 hours was not enough.  Learning to listen to my body and just rest wasn’t easy as I like to make sure to do my part daily in my home and for others.  I would get so frustrated with myself knowing deep inside that my body was going through a lot and my need at the moment was to rest in order to recover.  I can remember praying daily just to have enough energy to get through my 8-9 hour days of work.  

Currently, I still get tired easy.  I find myself taking naps on my lunch break in my office just in hopes of getting through the second half of the workday.  Even a trip to the grocery store and regular chores in my home are exhausting at times.   I try not to plan too many social events on weekdays after work and even limit my weekend events just to not get tired the following day.  This is still a battle for me because I just want to go back to having my normal amount of energy and enjoy activities again.  

I do not know how long it will take my body to recover fully but I am believing that my normal amount of energy will be back.  This is where my faith is exercised daily. Faith is believing what we do not see yet will come to pass, especially if God has told us. (Hebrews 11:1)

Our God is a good God who only does good things. (Psalm 118:1)

Sometimes this may be hard to fathom but we must believe it is true. Would God really want to do something that would hurt or harm us? No, He does allow uncomfortable things to happen in our life so that we trust Him more and for others to see Him in how He brings us through the hard storms of life.

After all, many times through the storm, we are changed to be more like Him so that we can love others much like Jesus did while on earth. We do not always understand our storm but are given ideas to help others that may go through the same or similar situation. Sometimes, we may be given the one idea that helps thousands or millions around the world. Once we get the chance to tell the story, many will know and love God who originates all good things because God works in higher ways that we do not fathom. (Isaiah 55:9) Many times we do not see all the impact of why we go through the situations we do.